There you are, England!
My sweetheart who I see from time to time.
Why I love you:
-Great customer service, great customer service and great customer service.
-Did I mention great customer service?
-Shopping here is an experience for me, not a chore.
-Freedom of sorts; you can be a version of yourself you’ve dreamed about; someone who bundles up in a jacket and wears wool gloves before leaving the house. Someone who stops to buy a cup of hot chocolate on the way to work. Someone who takes the bus, or the train, or even just walks to work if distance and the weather permits.
-Good internet connectivity that is taken for granted.
-Political satire on tv which makes me happy: ‘Have I got news for you’ and ‘Mock the week’.
Why I can’t commit to England:
-The weather-why so cold, England?
-People talking about the weather all.the.time.
-People complaining about politics all.the.time.
-Watery milk-why so watery, England?
-Don’t have a lot of family and friends here.
Ah, my reluctant, often tedious long-term relationship. What can I say? You have your good parts:
-Being the country of my birth.
-Food that is tasty and has pepper in it.
-Family and friends who want the best for you.
-Opportunities that exist if one squints very hard.
Why I don’t always take you seriously:
-Constant power failure
-Dodgy internet connectivity
-Dodgy customer service
So what do I do?
Make an honest man out of England and commit to him while drinking tea with watery milk?
Or grin and bear it with Nigeria while secretly rolling my eyes at the institutionalized dodginess?